talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Houston, we have a blender
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
