I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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