I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
