Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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