My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Found the puke drawer
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
