all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
