Can i not drive my cunt home
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
