We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
