Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize