his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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