I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
