she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
