I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
