This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
