My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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