ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
