If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
