I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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