So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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