Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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