if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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