i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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