Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
