Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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