I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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