all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
should my penis look like a turkey
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
