new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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