So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
