yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So many bounce houses so little time
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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