I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
