I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
