Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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