holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
