508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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