my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
