I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
