I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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