Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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