I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
