If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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