pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
last night I used snow as a chaser
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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