you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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