Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
