about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
