Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
