Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
