I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
