Small penises have feelings too.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
