i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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