A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am puke
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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