Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
