Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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