So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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