I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
