She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
