when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
