I cockslap morals
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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