my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
