did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize