No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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