I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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